In an era where conversations about relationships often revolve around “who brings what to the table”, Pastor Tunde Bakare’s story from his autobiography “The Last but Definitely Not the Least” offers a refreshing and inspiring perspective on love, responsibility, and sacrifice in marriage.
Before marrying his wife, Pastor Bakare revealed that she worked at Union Bank, earning ₦375 monthly, while he earned ₦710 as a lawyer. Despite the modest income, his approach to finances reflected deep wisdom and maturity. From his earnings, he paid his tithe and offering, sent ₦50 monthly to support his widowed mother, and gave his wife ₦200 for housekeeping. Whatever remained, he used to cover his own transportation and personal needs. Remarkably, he never asked about his wife’s salary — a decision that spoke volumes about his respect, trust, and leadership as a husband.
A Model of True Leadership and Love
Pastor Bakare’s actions illustrate what true leadership in marriage means. He understood his role not as one of dominance, but of service, provision, and love. By caring for his mother and ensuring his wife was well provided for, he demonstrated biblical principles of stewardship and family responsibility.
His decision not to inquire about his wife’s salary also showed a profound sense of trust and emotional intelligence. In a world where financial transparency is important but often weaponized, his example teaches that a healthy marriage thrives on trust, not control.
Why Women Respond to Selfless Men
When Pastor Bakare said he managed whatever was left of his income just to get to work and back, it highlighted the depth of his selflessness. Women naturally respond with loyalty and affection to men who put family first and lead with love. When a man prioritizes his wife’s comfort and security, he builds a foundation of mutual respect and devotion that money alone cannot buy.
It’s no surprise that Pastor Bakare and his wife continue to enjoy a strong and successful marriage — one grounded in love, faith, and shared values rather than material wealth.
A Call for Men and Women Today
Men today can learn a powerful lesson from Pastor Bakare’s humility and sense of duty. Providing for one’s family is not just a social expectation; it’s a spiritual responsibility. As 1 Timothy 5:8 reminds us, “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
However, this teaching doesn’t exclude women. In cases where a man faces genuine financial challenges, the woman can honorably and respectfully step in to support the family. Marriage, after all, is a partnership built on love, understanding, and mutual support.
Pastor Tunde Bakare’s story is a timeless reminder that true success in marriage isn’t measured by income or possessions, but by selflessness, sacrifice, and faith in God’s provision. His example continues to inspire couples to build homes rooted in love, respect, and spiritual integrity.
Pastor Tunde Bakare, marriage advice, Christian marriage, relationship wisdom, financial responsibility, biblical principles, love and sacrifice, 1 Timothy 5:8
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